Cum Town Archive

2017

Every Episode from 2017:

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# Title Date Show Notes Download Link
50Bonus 17 - Happy New Years01/02/2017January 1, 2017 A big cum town happy new year to all our friends. I'm too hungover to even write one of those descriptions where I'm too hungover to write a description in a fun way.
51Ep. 33 - Ugh. Wardell01/05/2017I guess Brandon invited himself on the podcast again. I was too busy making smoothies to pay attention during this one. I'm sure he brought up some idiot vine star that a man his age (32) shouldn't be obsessing over, ironically or otherwise.
52Bonus 18 - New Year New Me01/09/2017January 8, 2017 I'm losing 500lbs by february and I'm gonna stop doing cocaine and my wife is going to come back. i can can feel it. This is _MY_ year. This is the year _I_ fuck
53Ep. 34 - We Gotta Get Rid Of The TV01/12/2017Chapo Genius and all around good boy Wide Dick Willy Menaker joins us as we watch She's All That and slowly come to the realization that the TV is going to destroy the podcast.
54Bonus 19 - Better Late Than Funny01/16/2017January 16, 2017 Something got fucked up and last weeks premium episode got deleted so we just recorded this one. Now the post isn't embedding as audio and im trying again. Getting v mad here.
55Ep. 35 - Cum Town Fires Back01/19/2017We go in hard on Compound Media for kicking us out of the Anthony Cumia studios. Adam will personally fight any of the Staten Island salami-mongoloids that pay their bills
56Bonus 20 - Black Magic Schoolbus01/23/2017January 22, 2017 I do everything I can to prevent Adam and stav from reacting to the trump inauguration the same way everyone else has. And I do it by bringing up the best cartoons I've seen.
57Ep. 36 - Goatee Era Seagal01/26/2017We go real deep into the latest era of Seagal movies, And we have a sponsor now. Please give me feedback on the fact that we have ads now. Make sure to get mad at me about it. The premium episodes will always be ad free if it bothers you. I'm tired of everyone being mad at me. I just want to pay my fucking rent and waste money on dumb shit.
58Bonus 21 - Cure For Death01/30/2017January 29, 2017 I cured my cancer with soda and I'm back at it in this one. Amber returns. We taught her good mic technique because there's not really much else we have to offer.
59Ep. 37 - Goldust Wasn't Gay02/02/2017I almost passed out during this one, luckily the boys kept things going with wrestling chat that I couldn't partcipate in due to both ignorance and medical problems. Please remember me as a Lenny Bruce type or maybe Carlin, thanks.
60Bonus 22 - Congratulations To John Elway And The Denver Broncos02/06/2017February 5, 2017 As requested here's another classic three boys cast. We did two yesterday so I forgot what we talked about in this one. Also sorry it's going up so late I fell asleep after we went to IKEA. I didn't watch the superbowl.
61Ep. 38 - Good Prison vs Bad Prison02/09/2017BDF Big dick felix joins us and we try to remember Oz and why it was bad, and we talk about why prison wouldn't be that scary for guys like us. I'm still dying btw. I can't breathe. This is the end. Remember me as a broadcaster. Goodnight and good luck.
62Bonus 23 - 10 Thousand Dollar Episode Spectacular02/13/2017February 12, 2017 Well wouldn't ya know it I gave myself sinusitis from all that blow back when we were poor thousandaires and I went and quit everything except tea and blended drinks. I dunno how to celebrate other than to say thanks to the cum boys. We've made it. Thanks to you guys. You've changed our lives and we owe ya a lot. Especially Adam. Thank you sweeties.  VIDEO POST: February 18, 2017  Cum Town Pilot  It's the moment everyone's been waiting for. We spent weeks writing and editing this. The first episode of the new Cum Town web series.
63Ep. 39 - Petey Dat Boi02/16/2017Funny Moms favorite and Bronx favorite and Brooklyn Favorite and New York favorite Petey Dat Boy DeAbreu joins us and we prove once and for all that the podcast isn't racist.
64Bonus 24 - Lessons Learned02/20/2017February 19, 2017 Uh we've had to record like nine episodes this week and I have no idea what we said on this one. Honestly my new passion in life is web series. Podcasts are for ugly people. I want to be beatufiul. I want to be a star.
65Ep. 40 - Valentimes02/23/2017We have sex with each other on the show as a joke for valentines day. Get it. Like were dating haha. But its jsut a joke. It's okay to suck off your friends if you're doing it in a funny way
66Bonus 25 - Spring Training02/27/2017February 27, 2017 A very sexual episode. Sorry it's late boys I've been stuck in the airport all day... spotting milfs.
67Ep. 41 - Cum Town Live03/02/2017The first ever Cum Town Live show at Caroline's on Broadway. It's basically the same format as Funny Moms (the live show we put up on Patreon) except I booked it and it's at Carolines so we use the name of the podcast instead of the name of Adam's gay ass show.
68Bonus 26 - History Boys03/06/2017March 5, 2016 I honestly have no idea what we talked about on this one. This is the last of the pre-recorded episodes with just the boys so I'm gonna have to start eating into the guest episodes. But really all the guest episodes we did were very good. So if this one sucks I'm sure the next will be fine.
69Ep. 42 - Will "Smith" Menaker03/09/2017Wide dick will joins us again to chat about star trek. What's that? This episode is late you say? Actually, it's not asshole. It's called time zones and maybe I'm on god damn vacation.
70Bonus 27 - Swole Mates03/13/2017March 13, 2017 Big E-Dub Evan Williams joins us to talk about strength and what it means to be huge and strong. Adam is the weakest one on the show.  I'm sure a lot of you are expecting me to address the twitter controversy. Excuse me but I'm retired from Twitter. I was banned for free speech, making me a hero. The matter was settled two weeks ago. Thanks.
71Ep. 43 - The REAL Original Cum Boys03/16/2017My blood brother Jake Flores joins us to talk about how Adam and Stav replaced him as my best friend after he decided to move to Bushwick to be cool and fuck bike girls
72Bonus 28 - Rob Haze03/20/2017March 19, 2017 Funny Moms killer alum Rob Haze joins us and I cant remember what we talked about but he had a hat that looked like adams and when he left i thought maybe he forgot his hat, but it was adams hat. This is the last of the prerecorded episodes. The boys reunite this week.
73Ep. 44 - I Dunno Some Shit Title I Guess03/23/2017Its uh, an episode of the podcast. JP McDade is the guest. We talk for about an hour or some shit like that i think
74Bonus 29 - The Reunion Show03/27/2017March 27, 2017 You'd think we'd have a bunch to talk about after a month, but you'd be wrong.
75Ep. 45 - The Replacements03/30/2017Scrambling for time, I tap Dana Bell and Jamel Johnson to replace Stav and Adam for a very special edition of Cum Town West. Theyre both POCs and one is a woman, which PROVEs that I am the president of the DSA and beyond reproach.
76Bonus 30 - Race Cum04/03/2017April 2, 2017 A super special episode (stav's gone, Kurt Metzger takes his spot). Kurt also wants to release this as a race wars episode.
77Ep. 46 - Vacations?04/06/2017Andy Haynes joins us. I think he said something about going on vacation.
78Bonus 31 - The Last Shitty Episode04/10/2017April 10, 2017 folks this is the last shitty one. I promise. I've been on a job for the last 7 weeks and we've had to pre-record so many of these fucking things, but I go home friday and we can get back on a normal schedule.  big ups and kudos to anyone that didn't delete their subscription in the last two months, I certainly would have. I will make it up to you somehow
79Ep. 47 - Foody For THought lol04/13/2017michael foody joins us lol. we talked to michael foody, hence the name of the episode. do u get it
80Bonus 32 - NYC Boys04/17/2017April 16, 2017 I'm back. They let me drive the train. I'm not allowed to talk about it. I didn't upload the regular episode this week cause I couldn't figure out which one's I had already uploaded. Anyhow, I'm back for a week and then I have to go back to Los Angeles for, at most, another month, (but, realistically if this WGA strike happens, only another week or so) and we're either gonna have to prerecord a bunch of episodes or go premium-only and figure out a skype thing for a bit.  I'll figure it out. I'm not stressed about it. I don't care that the show is being ruined by other opportunities. I'm fine.
81Ep. 48 - The Greatest Riff Of All Time04/20/2017Sorry to all the non-premium listeners that missed out on last weeks episode. I'm burned out and didn't want to upload the episode. I hope I die soon. Anyhow we're back in full force, with what might be the best riff we've ever done on the show, all the way at the end of this episode. Stay tuned.
82Bonus 33 - The Train Episode04/24/2017April 24, 2017 This is the one everyone has been waiting for. Recorded LIVE on a specially chartered Amtrak Ocean View Domeliner, this transcontinental podcast journey cost us over 50,000 dollars of your money that went directly into the pockets of a broken industry supported only by east coast drug mules and autistic enthusiasts.
83Ep. 49 - The Hidden Episode04/27/2017While looking through the SD card for this weeks episode I discovered a hidden gem - a prerecorded episode from weeks ago that i forgot about! I think i fell asleep during this one.
84Bonus 34 - Running Out of Episodes05/01/2017May 1, 2017 well i think if we don't strike tonight were fucked. there's one more episode pre recorded after this one. i just want to go home and do the podcast. if anyone knows a good real estate lawyer in los angeles hmu
85Ep. 50 - Diversity Town05/04/2017Cum Town West hosts Dana Bell and Jamel Johnson join me for a meandering conversation about television and amusement parks. I'm home in three weeks. Hang in there everyone.
86Bonus 35 - Wop Dago Guinnea05/08/2017May 8, 2017 Wop dago guinea mike recine joins up and gets grease all over the fucking microphone. spagehtti sauce everywhere. mama mia
87Ep. 51 - I want to go home05/11/2017Welp just another week and then I can go home folks. Just one more week.
88Bonus 36 - I Dunno05/15/2017May 15, 2017 Amber was on this one. I'm back in new york on friday. I've already written every episode of the web series.
89Ep. 52 - Lisa's Feet05/18/2017The last of the Cum Town West series. I go home tomorrow. It's over boys. We got through this.
90Bonus 37 - Adam's Whore Addiction05/22/2017May 22, 2017 we have an intervention for adam, who is addicted to whores Tags: illegal prostitution, prostituion
91Ep. 53 - Adam's Fault05/27/2017We had to redo this one. It was adam's fault. If you like weekend episodes though, the premium episodes (patreon.com/cumtown) are always uploaded on the weekend, except for when i forget to upload them, or when I delete the episode by accident
92Bonus 38 - Springtime for Crypotfascists05/29/2017May 29, 2017 its a beautiful day, go enjoy it
93Ep. 54 - New Characters06/01/2017Were debuting some new characters we've been working on - Gay Guy, mexican guy who is trying to go to the bathroom bu he cant because his dick is too small, Doctor Retard.
94Bonus 39 - Real Time06/05/2017June 5, 2017 Bill Maher stole my bit
95Ep. 55 - Disclaimers06/08/2017Coming in hot off a big week in n-word news, I distance myself from n-word using culture.
96Bonus 40 - Stav's Toys06/12/2017June 12, 2017 We learn about Stav's depressing childhood, in which his family didn't have much, but at least he had teeth and hair back then. I know I keep saying the web series is coming soon - and it is. THe problem this time is that I got fat in Los Angeles and we cant film until I'm beautiful again. Not out of vanity, it just wouldn't match thec haracter i play - myself - who is beautiful and everyone wants to love.
97Ep. 56 - The Resistance06/15/2017I guess some Bernie Bro shot up the mayors offiice or some shit so we talk about it, political style.
98Bonus 41 - tHere was an amber alert06/20/2017June 19, 2017 sorry the pisodes late there was an amber alert on my phone that came in and I was trying to solve it. sorry. anyhow here's the episode. i didnt find the girl by the way i think she got raped to death in that silver jetta
99Ep. 57 - My Wonder Woman Review06/23/2017I went to see the wonder woman movie with chapo. Theyre doing a review of the show. I did my own. Here's my take: it's gay. it gets three gays down.
100Ep. 58 - A Very Adam Christmas06/29/2017we find out adams gay once an for all
101Bonus 42 - Stav's Best Episode07/03/2017July 3, 2017 The lil guy got me pretty good on this one I gotta admit. Gotta give credit doe.
102Ep. 59 - Marmaduke07/06/2017Adam debut's his brand new bit, about the marmaduke comic, that definitely no one has said before. it's an original idea
103Bonus 43 - (Kissing Fingertips)07/10/2017July 10, 2017 Mike Recine returns after his failed trip to Italy. (His girlfriends passport got rejected at the airport, I'm assuming because of a disparity in the amount of black eyes on her face vs. the picture (because Mike is Italian, aka Il Racio Di Violencia Domesticcia))
104Ep. 60 - The Letter Boys07/13/2017We get heavy into some alphabet shit on this one I think. I can't remember. Sorry, we're prerecording episodes again for this week until I'm back from my racist trip to San Diego for the Gender Binary Conference
105Bonus 44 - The Real Ass Podcast07/16/2017July 16, 2017 Zac Amico joins us for another episode of Cum Town, aka The Real Ass Podcast. This is the only podcast named that. Any Other podcasts with that name are fake. And possibly also gay. Also thank you to everyone that emailed. I am going through all of them. I'll respond to everyone, I'm kind of overwhelmed with the response. It's times like this I wish I didn't have autism so I could experience things like gratitude.
106Ep. 61 - Business Places07/20/2017The boys name a couple of business that they remember going to but cant remember some of them. some of them went out of business. theres other stuff we mention i think. hechts was one of the places. i think there used to be a furniture store that had a name but i cant remember what the name of it was.
107Bonus 45 - Wounded Warrior07/24/2017July 23, 2017 I fucked up my damn hand so its hard for me to type a description. We talked for an hour
108Ep. 62 - Train Knowledge07/27/2017Ill tell you some shit them boys up in Albany don't want you to know
109Bonus 46 - Adam's Favorite Shows07/30/2017July 30, 2017 We really give it to him this time hoo boy
110Ep. 63 - Scaramucci News Episode08/03/2017we do an analysis of the new press officer Tony Scaramucci. usually we don't do the news on this show but this guy seems important so were gonna spend the hole episode talking about him because people are gonna want to know more about this guy. has anyone pointed out to me yet that hes italian. maybe you could be the first to do that
111Bonus 47 - Just Go Ahead And Unsubscribe For The Month08/07/2017August 6, 2017 Stav's decided to take an extended personal vacation so we're prerecording episodes in bulk again. Enjoy this gem from like two weeks ago I'm not sure if this is the one where i get mad about having to stack episodes up. that might be the next one. one of them i get mad on.
112Ep. 64 - Tier One08/10/2017Sofrep combat operators only. Do NOT steal my valor or i WILL be tactically forced to officially fuck you up
113Bonus 48 - i dunno some fuckin shit or somethin08/14/2017August 13, 2017 this is the last of the prerecorded episodes. i swear. were never doing this again. im going to fire stav or adam if they leave town again. i can just record three passes of the podcast and do all the voices myself
114Ep. 65 - Construction Boys08/17/2017*sniff* yeah was doin drywall all day didn't have time to upload the pdocast. if u got a problem with it you can meet me in the home deep lot nex to the empanada truck. im the guatamalan guy wearing the blue flame beanieand the skateboarding spiderman hoodie.
115Bonus 49 - adam's meal plan08/21/2017august 21, 2017 my man eating bugs
116Ep. 66 - Oopsadoozio08/24/2017I got so excited about stav being out of town I forgot to upload the episode. (in reality my comptuer did that "windows updating" shit where it decides you don't have any work to do for the next four hours and then windows comes back and it looks like the same old piece of shit windows it was before)
117Bonus 50 - Replaciadios08/28/2017august 28, 2017 Aribe aribe! Tu eslistenas de podcacisto de CoumToune - el mejor podcacisto para Ninos del poussie-guettorez y Los Masturbadios! Featurada comediejo Jake Flores - directos con su parque-lache de Home Depot (sunto-fecto de Tim Allen)! Enjoyechachasistos, hombres!
118Ep. 67 - Los Secundos Episada De Hake FLorjes08/31/2017Comedieja Jake Flores rejundo de ninos del Coume para un hora de chatasa abooto el meurto unfortunada de Rich Piana. Por que Rich muerta? Esta becasa he tengo steroids? No se. Esta becasa Rich viva la vida loca.
119Bonus 51 - Jake drinks a surge09/03/2017september 3, 2017 I made so many damn notes and they can't just follow them.
120Ep. 68 - Tech Savior09/07/2017I made the show good again via the power of technology. This is how were gonna bring steve jobs back.
121Ep. 69 - Valero Boss09/14/2017You probably thought we had something big planned for episode 69 but the truth is i think 69/420 jokes aren't funny and they annoy me. Sorry to derail the episode description there but it's true. It's not a good joke. also it would have been cool if it synced up with 9/11. sike it wouldn't have. 9/11 was a huge tragedy and a lot of guys with mustaches like mine died
122Bonus 52 - Stav's Changing His Name09/18/2017september 17, 2017 I'm going to figure out the paperwork this week since I'm the business man of the three, but we're officially starting the legal process to change Stav's name to Stavros VelHakias. Thank you to everyone for this. If we get to 50k I'm getting the mickey mouse dice tattoo. Actually I don't want to promise that I really don't want to have to get that tattoo for real.
123Ep. 70 - I Ate bad fish09/21/2017sorry i didn't upload this last night i think i ate fish that went bad and i had to lay down
124Bonus 53 - it was the iphone thing09/25/2017september 24, 2017 i think i wanted to talk about the iphones
125Ep. 71 - Bean reviews09/28/2017black beans pinto beans pink beans. who the fuck is eating pink beans am i right? why wouldnt you choose a cooler bean. this is a sneak peak at some of the new stand up ive been working on.
126Bonus 54 - Once Upon A Time In Brooklyn10/02/2017october 1, 2017 Mike recine rejoins us to scold stav for saying he fucked Mikes close personal friend (and fan of the podcast) scarlett johansen. im not looking up how to spell her name. if your reading this scarlett (and i know you are) maybe you should pick a better fucking name thats easier to spell? might help your "career" a bit more instead of having a stupid fucking name
127Ep. 72 - Cum Petty And The SHartbre-gay-kers haha10/05/2017damn i fucking nailed the episode name this week i dont even think a description is necessary
128Bonus 55 - trying a new thing where i dont charge the batteries for the recorder10/09/2017october 8, 2017 it didn't work
129Ep. 73 - Late Night Boys10/12/2017Another low energy night ep for those fans that enjoy it when we can't think of anything to talk about
130Bonus 56 - Apologies10/15/2017october 15, 2017 I know the sound was messed up on the last regular episode but I looked at everything and I couldn't figure out what happened. Somehow the preferences for Audition got reset in between last week and this one and in setting my workflow back up, when I match the track volumes for the three of us it silences stavs mic. So I just monitored it while we recorded this one and didn't fuck with it afterwards. This one should be fine but if its fucked up again let me know,especially if you know how to fix it.
131Ep. 74 - Happy Halloween10/19/2017Im going back to los angeles for the weekend. I missed it after all.
132Bonus 57 - Here's To Who's Left10/23/2017october 22, 2017 A big cum town thank you to everyone that didn't abandon ship this week. Don't believe the Stalinists, were good boys and we're here to make life better for everyone, especially marginalized voices (by that i mean tiny bug voices like adams)
133Ep. 75 - The Voice Of The Left10/25/2017This is waht it sounds like (retarded guy voice) duh im the left lol. i go poo poo and pee pee. lol
134Bonus 58 - The Gerby Gomo Super Episode10/30/2017october 30, 2017 We got two episodes in one here fellas. If you want to skip to the Gerby episode its at the 1:12:34 mark.
135Ep. 76 - How do you spell halowen11/02/2017halewen. how do you do it
136Bonus 59 - The REAL pizzagate11/06/2017november 6, 2017 It's gluten free, the sauce is peach compote, and they serve it at all-night brunch in every club in WeHo.
137Ep. 77 - God damn i swear i uploaded this11/10/2017I guess the form is fucked up and it just keeps refreshing? I dont know. anyhow there's more pedophile shit happening every day. we recorded this an hour before sheen raped haim and now we're behind another pedophile
138Bonus 60 - digging deepah11/13/2017november 13, 2017 they have a practice called a-nal feesting. where one man's hand is enserted into another man's hand - er rectum, and it is so painful they have to take drugs
139Ep. 78 - We couldn't get ian11/16/2017we were gonna have ian on to make fun of him but he was busy or something
140Bonus 61 - Dillon's Cheese Pizza Steakhouse11/20/2017november 20, 2017 The big cheese of conspiracy joins us.
141Bonus 62 - ive calmed down11/26/2017november 26, 2017 sorry about all the conspiracy theories lately folks. i lost a lot of hair and ive been sleepin gfor a week
142Ep. 79 - Bumbaclot11/30/2017rude boys
143Bonus 63 - Spot boy12/04/2017december 4, 2017 Sorry this is late. I'm a spot boy again. I'm at either the standing room in LIC or the stand (gramercy) pretty often now. I just hang out and get spots when I can so there's no fixed schedule, but both clubs are good and you should come.  TEXT POST december 6, 2017 You're Gonna Get An Email From Patreon
144Ep. 80 - Weight of the world12/07/2017From now on im only doing the show with my 140lb weight vest on, which I consider a battle treasure from my war with the post office, whomst refused to deliver it.
145Bonus 64 - Tango Down12/11/2017december 11, 2017 We celebrate the recent downfall of Bryan Singer: next up? Tom Skerritt. Cum town comes full circle.
146Ep. 81 - Marquis of Queensbury12/14/2017Patreon has reversed their decision to jack up prices on the customer end, in no small part due to my status as 1) tier one operator 2) financial maven. Cheers to everyone becoming rich off crypto this week. Please spend that money buying the premium episodes now that they're fairly priced again.
147Bonus 65 - Best kinda buffet12/18/2017december 18, 2017 We figure it out. thanks for being patient everyone. we have a special treat for you later today VIDEO POST: december 19, 2017  The web series  We did it. It only took six months to shoot and edit. PHOTO POST: december 22, 2017  "Lol"
148Ep. 82 - Im just one man12/21/2017i had to run uptown on business this morning and couldnt upload the episode on time. im sorry folks. one of these days ill be dead and the podcast wont upload at all. keep in mind that ill be dead soon. im going to die soon everyone
149Ep. 83 - Petey Dat Boi Part DeTwo12/28/2017Uptown cum boy petey deabreu fills in for stavros who got stuck in the fort mchenry tunnel after eating too much baklava
150Bonus 66 - real ass podcast12/31/2017december 31, 2017 here's another episode, this one is just luis explaining buffets for four hours